Anecdotal Evidence.

My Top Ten Books for Dads

Book clubs are for chicks.  Actually I've always assumed that most book clubs dismiss with the book in the first 10 minutes and instead focus on the lives of people who aren't in the room, mass consumption of chardonnay and low-carb appetizers.  I also assume that most book clubs end up with 10 hot moms topless in a hot tub, but that may just be me.

I've read one book that wasn't related to business since we've had kids. Mostly because for every kid, you lose a few hours out of each day and little things like soccer practice, personal hygiene and sleep tend to get in the way (usually).  If any of you math wizards out there want to take a crack at developing a formula that illustrates the phenomenon, please do.However, I think reading is one of the most important interests we can instill in our children. And one of the most difficult.

Newspapers have been left bloody and twitching by the side of the road in a pool of their own vomit (although it is still important to know what's going on out there). Magazines, once thick with colorful calls to action to hit consumers at their most vulnerable touch points, are now anemic rags with in-depth exposes that could not be more vapid.  Television is pretty good right now... if you are fascinated by celebrities and need to juxtapose their day-to-day problems with your own (HBO being an exception).  Don't even get me started on Hollywood (you may endure this topic within the next couple of weeks).  As the media we consume shrinks (again) from to snack-sized to bite-sized, we are staring right down the throat of an evolutionary phenomenon that will allow us to exist on the intellectual equivalent of french fries.

But there are still novels.  And even if no more novels were ever written, we'd still have more than we can read in our lifetime.  Books force you to slow down, dust off your imagination, and think,  They allow you to absorb the rich complexity of a good story that could stay with you forever. They also take you to place without pull ups, those god damned tiny snaps and whining. Try getting that from Twitter. 

Wow... I'm bitter today!  It feels good. Anyway, here is my list of books for dads.  None of these books have anything to do with being a dad per se, but they all offer interesting philosophical things to think about as you struggle to instill some sense of decency and morality into your kids' lives.

My top 10 dad books (in no specific order):

1. Death in the Afternoon  by Ernest Hemmingway
2. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
3. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
4. Bombardiers by Po Bronson
5. The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene
6. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
7. Bringing Down the House by Ben Merzich
8. Into Thin Air by John Krakauer
9. Liars Poker by Michael Lewis
10. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

And I'm going to include a Bonus Book that you should already own:

11. The Odyssey by Homer

Let us know what your top ten books are, and  I'm curious to know why you think reading is important, generally.  Also, let me know if you want to start a book club... but I might bring Tres Gereraciones instead of chardonnay.

Weigh in with a comment.

Pinkawhatthell?

Apparently, the first book I ever read by myself was Fox in Socks, which explains my lack of verbal communication skills. The second book I read by myself was Frog and Toad are Friends, which explains my homoerotic fascination with amphibians. Children’s books are an intriguing area.  Ever look at the back of Where the Sidewalk Ends?  That Shell Silverstein was one scary dude!  You have to wonder if The Giving Tree was based on some guy named “Tree” doling out cigarettes in the yard in between sets on the bench press. 

Anyway, incarceration jokes aside, The Giving Tree is brilliant—in both its presentation and in its elegance.  It is the simple, engaging conveyance of a strong moral message.  That is what a good children’s book is all about.

And then there is Pinkalicious. At first I thought I didn’t like it because of the association of “Bootylicious” and my two-year-old daughter (no offence, Beyonce… just put some pants on in front of my kids). And maybe our first nanny’s attempt to nickname our youngest daughter “Tessalicious” (which thankfully did not stick, much in part to my icy cold reception).   But upon further thought, it is the story itself that really pisses me off.

First, this kid blatantly disregards her parents’ demands and sneaks downstairs to steal more cupcakes.   She perches herself dangerously high on an assortment of kitchen items stacked on a chair, to reach the top of the refrigerator. I somehow doubt OSHA approved this book.  My first thought was that this encourages dishonesty, deception, and reckless behavior.  But kids will be kids.

Secondly, to remedy the effect of too many cupcakes (she turns pink… I’ll save you the $17.99), she eats a bunch of green vegetables and fruit. She  “gags down grapes”, eats “icky” relish and gross spinach.  In other words she is choking down the very things we as parents are trying to get our kids to eat.  Thanks for the headwind, Pinkalicious. Also, who hates grapes? Or relish for that matter?

But this was the kicker: In an effort to curb her desire to shove even more pink cupcakes down her gullet, her mother replied, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”  Fine. Whatever.  Maybe that works with denying kids all of the unhealthy things they crave and with halting their incessant requests.

BUT… the other day, Claire and I were playing the Wii.  After a few frames of trying to knock pins down in the adjacent lanes (has anyone ever been able to do this? Let me know if it’s possible), we decided to salvage our ranking and get serious.  On the next frame Claire knocked down 9 pins and then missed the spare.  “Oh well,” she said, “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset!”

I got upset.  “What!?”  I was confused and horrified at the same time.  “No!” I said sternly.  I wanted to shout, “God damn you, Pinkalicious!” but it somehow came out as, “That is absolutely not correct!”

Now I am not one of those psycho sports dads who blurs the line between his family’s financial future and the athletic success of his children (yet…), but I think a little healthy competition is completely appropriate.  And I recognize that there is a difference between challenging authority and challenging yourself, but I am not 4.  I understand (but don’t necessarily agree with) not keeping score in first-year soccer and baseball leagues.  And I certainly appreciate the fact that we want to encourage honesty, hard work, sportsmanship, fair play and a love-of-the-game.   But the world is a crazy place.  Life is competition.  So maybe we don’t have to hunt and gather our own food anymore, but if we expect to attain a certain standard of living, then we need to earn it.  And that means, competing, being evaluated and succeeding. It’s ok to fail, but you don’t have to accept it.  Don’t take what you get.  Do get upset.  Make mistakes, extract the lessons, and discard the rest.  Learn from every opportunity.

And, oh yeah… grapes taste great.

Let’s hear some comments about this.