The Validation of Every Single Decision Ever Made

I don’t like to brag… but I’m perfect. I didn’t realize it until recently.  One day it dawned on me: I am absolutely perfect. Every decision I have ever made was the right decision. Every thing I do is the right thing. Everything I say is the most appropriate for that particular moment.  Does my confidence intimidate you?  Do you question my (objective) sincerity?  Do you want to bitch slap me?  Whatever.  I’m like The Most Interesting Guy in the World, only more interesting.  If you doubt me, take a look at my kids.  Even better, ask them. They are the validation of every single decision I have ever made—had I done anything differently, at any point in my life, they wouldn’t be here.  And now that they are here, my supremacy is constantly and emphatically reinforced. Daily.  By them. I am a Golden God.  I am the Master of my Domain.  I am totally rad.

But absolute power is a tenuous thing.  There are forces constantly trying to steal it: obnoxious friends, children's television, first grade, the teenage years, the Wii.  If we want to maintain our reign of dominance, then we must band together… learn from each other, share with each other, teach each other. Together, we can make sure those little monsters love us forever. And, hopefully, we can keep them from going Goth.

Welcome to Dad is Rad.  If you are a megalomaniac then you are my brother.

Disclaimer: I can’t stand Dos Equis, but Stallion loves it.